Have you ever put on an act to fit in or relate to others? Did you know that when you put on a façade, this is actually a form of emotional labor? According to an article in Psychology Today, emotional labor is “the effort and control it takes to display the organizationally appropriate sentiment—whether that’s cheerfulness, compassion, discipline, or neutrality—when personal emotions run counter to those expected and required.” This begs the question, why do we add more work just to claim our identity?
Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of being on a prayer call that focused on this generation of our children. The prayer points for this week were: a) helping them to find their identity in Christ and b) being able to be secure enough not to be deterred by the things of this world or confused about who they are and Whose they are. Interestingly, the Holy Spirit was also communicating that I struggle with my identity. Do I have confidence in my identity in Christ? What unhealthy adaptations did I learn about social interaction in my childhood and development that I never grew out of? Is this who God wants me to be?
When I had my first child, my identity changed because in addition to being a wife and career woman, I was now learning to be a mother and homemaker. I transitioned into what I call a modern stay-at-home mom as I still work as a nurse, but do so remotely. I desired to do everything with grace and perfection and worked on strengthening my new roles. But in the process, I lost a part of myself and even became confused about who I really am. It's easy for us to mistakenly carry this burden on our own. Marriage and motherhood influence and reshape our thinking, but we can't be perfect without God. In reality, trying to strive for perfection can put a HUGE strain on you if not done correctly; meaning, we are made perfect in God, not out of our own vanity and effort (Matthew 5:48, Hebrews 13:21). Children learn by our example and our influence should be positive and led by the Holy Spirit. If we can overcome the challenges that have made us stray from our true identities in Christ, then our children will naturally follow. This is the beauty in casting all your cares upon Him (1 Peter 5:7). He will ensure that your faith and obedience are rewarded and that in the process, you are training up your child so that they do not stray from the righteous (Proverbs 22:6).
In my prayer time, God revealed an activity to help me find my identity in Him that I would like to challenge you all to do. By fixing any brokenness you have in this area, He will naturally be able to make you into a more effective evangelist, providing stability and consistency in your life. You’ll also notice that the roles you have will become easier and you’ll be graced to do certain things because you’ve relinquished this control to Him.
Activity and Application
Think of and write down at least 15 things that you love about yourself/15 of your positive personality characteristics.
Then, look for biblical principles and scriptures that align with these things.
Pray that God uses the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom and make sure that all of these things align with who He wants you to be and how you can either:
Add to
Strengthen
Maintain these qualities.
Get excited and apply it!
Remember, God calls us to come out of hiding and to be unashamed of who we are in Him (Luke 8:17 & 1 John 2:28). Let your light shine!
Sources:
The Holy Spirit
The Holy Bible
Sep 23
3 min read