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Forgiving and Letting Go of Bitterness

5 days ago

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Has someone ever offended you in such a way that it created a lasting effect? Does this offense still bother you to this day? The danger in holding on to grudges is that we harbor bitterness which breeds unforgiveness. By doing so, we are falling out of alignment with God as His Word states that if you refuse to forgive someone of their wrongdoings (AKA holding grudges), then God will not forgive you either (Mark 11:26). Why? Because allowing bitterness into your heart makes it impure which means the devil has legal ground to use this to build his kingdom (Psalm 24:3-4). Remember, the devil desires to be like the Most High and will take whatever good God has planned for us and make it rotten (Isaiah 14:14). This also involves being fruitful and multiplying: the enemy works in different ways to plant seeds of bitterness into our hearts that will sprout and produce fruit (Genesis 35:11). This poisonous fruit will be harvested by others and multiply so that we live in a community of offended individuals holding onto the wrongdoings of their neighbors and never forgiving one another. This can lead to other sins such as pride. When you are so blinded by the offense, you become too proud to examine the planks in your own eyes; therefore too proud to forgive (Proverbs 11:2, Luke 6:42).

 

Reflect: How does the devil use your bitterness and unforgiveness to distress others? Is it through gossip, putting others down to make yourself look and feel better, offending others, taking people on guilt trips, gaslighting, etc.?

 



Let’s examine what bitterness is and how it afflicts us. According to the Oxford Dictionary, “bitterness is anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly; resentment”. How do you feel when you are angry or disappointed? Do you feel like it extends beyond your emotions?

 

According to an article on CNN Health, bitterness interferes with the body’s natural hormonal and immune systems and in turn causes an imbalance in the body’s fight or flight response by releasing too much cortisol. Over time, this causes unnatural wear and tear leading to increased rates of high blood pressure and heart disease. Earlier, we discussed that bitterness and unforgiveness make our spiritual hearts impure; this can manifest physically as well. This article highlights the story of Kevin Benton, a university sophomore who was a victim of racism. After months of dealing with the seeds planted by the hatred of others, his bitterness caused him to suffer from insomnia, panic attacks, and a scary diagnosis of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy—a condition in which the cardiac muscles are abnormally large and thickened. This condition can lead to sudden cardiac arrest in those under 30. Benton’s bitterness nearly killed him until a janitor an obedient servant of the Lord walked by Benton’s hospital room and prayed with him to rid him of his bitterness. He reflects that "As soon as she said, 'Amen,' I felt like someone had poured cold water on my head and made my heart shrink”. Forgiveness literally saved his life.

 

According to the Mayo Clinic, forgiving can lead to multiple health benefits and improvements including:

  • Improved mental health:

    • Less stress, depression, hostility, and anxiety

  • Decreased blood pressure and lower risk of heart disease

  • A stronger immune system

    • Cold and flu season is here and COVID is on the rise, remember to forgive!

  • Healthier and more meaningful relationships

  • Better self-esteem

 

And these are just the physical, mental, and relational improvements we see with forgiveness! Imagine how God could use us spiritually if we are completely free of bitterness!

 

We don’t have to be a slave to this mentality and let bitterness and unforgiveness overrun our lives because God sent His Son to set the captives free! Live free, my friends—it’s our Kingdom right.

 

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 NLT


Reflection and Application:

 

  • What past traumas and experiences with others are you holding onto that has led to bitterness and unforgiveness? Take your time in this quiet reflection and journal if this helps.

  • Why do these things still bother you?

  • Pray and seek wisdom from the Holy Spirit: How can I overcome this without acting in your flesh?

    • What is truly keeping you from forgiving?

    • How would you feel if you were to forgive?

    • How can God heal you of the afflictions that have stemmed from bitterness and unforgiveness?

  • Remember and believe that God can do ANYTHING and stay faithful in the healing and transformation process.

 

 

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